Hard Day

Today was a hard day! I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest! When I was at Old Navy this afternoon and I got the text from Jason ~ "to get up here"... I knew it was not good! My heart pounded all the way to the hospital. When I walked in and saw my Mom and Dad, I started to cry. They had the same look on their faces the day that Emmie was born. It was awful. Watching my sister and Jason grieve this afternoon, broke my heart!

To watch a grown man lay over his wife and daughter and hold them and sob, was something I will never ever forget! It was so painful. I felt helpless, I can't take away the pain. I can't say that I know how they feel. I can't heal their broken hearts!

I stayed at the hospital as long as I could, but I needed to get home to my family and tuck them in before their first day of school tomorrow! I felt torn about where I should be. I feel like an absent minded mother who walks in circles and doesn't know where to begin, because there is so much to do!

When I got home tonight and walked in the house, my family was waiting and knew something was not right because of my swollen face and puffy eyes. Scott and I sat down with four of the kids and explained Emmie's situation. Sophie was already asleep. Cannon sobbed and sobbed. Emmie is his best friend. He loves her more than anything! They are the closest in age and there has always been a special bond between them. He cried himself to sleep in our bed, he didn't want to sleep alone! All he wants, is to go see Emmie! Cooper and Taylor cried and are in shock! Taylor has changed Emmie's trach since she was 11 years old. She takes care of that little girl so well and Emmie has taught her so much about service! Austin is quiet and won't say anything! We cried as a family and offered up another prayer. Our kids are broken hearted and our family will never be the same without Emmie in our lives!

We are still holding out for a miracle... we want with everything inside of us... for Emmie to stay here on this earth, so we can continue to serve her! But it looks like the picture is pretty clear that she is needed on the other side! We are just so selfish and can't bare life with out her. We love her so much and will miss her terribly!!

My poor sister just lays in the bed and kisses Emmie, begging her to please change her mind and stay!! She has a broken heart and can't let go! Who could?! It is something I can't believe is actually happening... I feel sick to my stomach and want the pain to subside for my sister, Jason and their two sweet girls. I love them all so much! -Tracey's words

Update: {Today was another hard day. Tiffany & Jason were given even more bad news about Emmie. Her brain has even more swelling now at this point on top of all the extensive brain damage. Her frail body can only take a few more doses of the medication that is helping the swelling. After she receives that tomorrow they will most likely be taking her home & having Hospice care come in. Although we are still hoping for a miracle, we feel that Heavenly Father might be answering our prayers in a different sense. We have been praying specifically to God to let "His will be known."...and maybe that's what He is doing.}

Please continue to Pray for Peace & Comfort to Tiffany, Jason & Family. We all are feeling the strength from the hundreds of Prayers offered up. Tonight in the Hospital Room amidst the despair there was still peace. And there were Angels there...you could feel them.